The Incredible Mangoes

i didnt really have to say anything. just drunk and i thought of the title so here i am. doggie has been missing in action. today she signed her lease with Grape Cigar and has broken my heart permanently on this matter. because we were supposed to move in together, and she totally ditched me for the girl. arey.

im listening to jill scott and these are the lines i like:
You love me, especially different every time.
You keep me on my feet, happily excited
By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence
You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me
You school me, give me some things to think about
Ignite me, you invite me, you co-write me...


so i guess here goes my token wasted stoned rant on love for the day.


i know how to love you because i know how to love.
women. argh. as am i, as are you. shit, how can i not know how to love you?

lots of people have told me one way or the other that i have a very unrealistically high concept of hope. it took me a while to figure out what they were trying to say but now im beginning to get it.
but what the hell am i supposed to do i cant help it.
i think its beautiful, really. they are so sexy in one moment, and then so fucking on point in the next moment, and then super cute. finally a little bit later, you have to pitch around to find it, but no matter how incredible and radiant a person they are, there are still elements of insecurity within them.
shit, that is so awesome. how there is a pattern, but it is so unique and individualistic for each person. isnt that just crazy gorgeous? i think it is.

it is also totally okay to want this kind of gorgeousness, and to believe that you can have it. i think that if you find a reason to appreciate someone, you have the right to bloody go for it.

the really pale blue of 6 am is what i see from my window right now. trust is a difficult thing to regain once you fuck it up and lose it. people are not chill enough. i think they dont smoke enough. why no second chance man.

my nails are short again. but this doesnt mean anything anymore to me. fuck, i am supposed to be crazy happy, because my biggest and most stressful project showcased tonight and was a giant success. but i am, and i am not.

youre getting in the way of how im feeling, re.
when you love them madly, but they just cant see it. fuck, what is that? how does it happen. how can they be so blind.
yaar jill scott is taking me on such a mellow little mad journey because her music is chill and groovy but her lyrics are solid. its the total opposite of whatever else is happening in the music.

brazillian girl says she doesnt know if she wants to do this with me, apparently i "seem like trouble" to her. even her. bhenchod thats just great. i forgot that i needed to become a committed serious saint and then ask her to break up with the boyfriend and come with me. uff larkiyaan.

sometimes when i am walking here and there and looking around// even in my room, the structure of things randomly strikes me as so alien. it is nothing like what we have back home, the whole damn thing is so awkward and different. i feel like im in a video game. GTA new york has come out, and i want to play it even though i fucking hate that game.

oye, im going to go sleep.

cheers mangoes, the summer is almost here.

- birdie