The Incredible Mangoes

i am a true stoner because today i realized how much i like bass yaar. damn. bass is just awesome. and i always want it so loud in my mixes, everyone always tells me the bass is too loud. holy fucking shit how can the bass be too loud? its so awesome. it is fucking sexy man. it brings the sexy to the song bhenchodd. and when they cut it from the music for bit, and its all treble hi fuck all, when it comes back it is bloody genius. yes. i like bass. i like it.

for those of you who want a reference track to where this is coming from, listen to no matter what you do - benny benassi (with the bass super loud lol). ok man i need to stop this. hahahaha. where is doggieeeeee. i am all alone having esmokey time and just like freaking out about the bass for 20 minutes. hahahahaha. how can she just abandon me that bastard, on my birthday and in my midterm week. bhenchod kutta hai voh, asal main.

also if you understand hindi/urdu, we had this ridiculous idea to stop writing in english on here for a while. just for kicks. to write sentences like
...aur phir kuttey ne mujhay kaha, "bulbul tum aik number ki harami ho, meri larki say duur raho. "

hahahahaha

i need to thread my eyebrows, because i have some large public appearances coming up. bushy frieda kajol burt from sesame street bhenchod.

yaaaar. doggie where are you.

so yeah i need to learn portugese like right now. i need to know it and be fluent like the fuck because the brazilian girl thinks i speak portugese.
I think it is officially time to introduce Meu Samba.

Basically she is this very beautiful brazilian straight girl in a super dramatic relationship with this brazilian guy. like and im not kidding about the drama. everyone in school knows this couple because they have huge fights in front of everyone, in the lobby and the hallway and she is crying her eyes out, yelling in portugese and throwing things at him. so one night i was at school working on a live audio recording project (incidently, with Purple Haze and it was so stressful).
Its fucking 4 in the morning and it sounds like someone is dying in the hallway, the noise is so much its like bleeding into my audio shit. so i go out and look, and its Meu Samba with her dude. she is in a corner on the floor with her back against the wall, crying hysterically. there is a belt, a backpack and a water bottle scattered over the hallway floor. i just go back inside.

at 6 am i wrap up my project and begin to head home. i was pretty beat and especially low, because the project was totally sucking. working with Purple Haze was awkward because we are barely keeping it civil for the sake of our grades. anyway so i go down the hallway and she is still there. her eyes closed, crying. he is gone, nowhere. as i was approaching, she opened her eyes. we dont know each other at all btw, we just had a class once and she says hi to me around school.
i wasnt going to go over there and be like shit are you okay, it will be fine bullshit etc. neither could i just say hi and walk away. so basically i was like oh fuck, why did she open her eyes. also like god i am such an emo piece of shit, i think its gorgeous when women cry.

so yeah in that beautifully sad moment of hers, i just went over there, kissed her on the cheek, and fucked off without saying anything.

two days later she walks in as i am holding open auditions for pieces that will be showcased at an upcoming event i am organizing. she tells me that my kiss saved her life that night. i tell her we should have coffee if she ever needs to talk. she gives me her number, takes mine. winks and then leaves.

so suddenly, whereas i had no intentions to pursue// or any concept of a possibility with this woman, suddenly. i am like oh fuck. congratulations girl youre on my radar ;) haha obviously her piece gets picked for the event.

Texting starts. I was with another brazilian friend of mine quite a few times when i was texting Meu Samba, so she helped me say some random things to her like hey oy bonita, linda, como vai, ta bom, beijo.. you know. the really simple shit.

The other day she walked into the office i work on campus. we rent out equipment to students. she puts her arms around my neck and fucking starts talking to me in portugese, really fucking hot man. i was freaking the fuck out but i heard her say the actual equimpent words in english. so i just acted super cool and got her the things.

so yeah man now she just talks to me in portugese. and when we are chatting online its ok cause i can translate, and i tell her that she needs to help me learn because i dont know it. but she thinks i know it. obviously because i reply to her in it off babel fish but still. i am totally terrified of meeting her on the street because she will talk to me again. in portugese. i also really want it to happen because it is so fucking sexy. shit man what do i do. oh fuck haha.

lol so yeah, i need to learn portugese right the fuck now. yo but there is no way she can think that i speak portugese! she is just being sexy and killing me. god these people are such a tease. shit. rosetta stoneeeedddd


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birdie