The Incredible Mangoes

august 15 2011


i've been writing small paragraphs and sentences off and on. these are some of them.

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i am standing at the edge of ny.. the hudson is in front of me and in the distance i can see a skyline.. im wondering if that's nj? i'm having that usual thought - you are so close to me in terms of proximity.. you are close to me so often because i try to go where you go.. and yet i'm still just standing on the edge of some street, path, river, lake, something wondering why you won't see me.. our virtual interactions are more substantial than most of our in person encounters because we are alone and solely communicating but sometimes i just want to be looking at you while talking to you

regardless of what you say i go on with this idea that it's all about to change but it must be true that while i feel like your (platonic) lover you probably feel close to nothing for me.

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semi fresh memory - rumi and haze.. a small space with expanding floors.. right before a walk or right after a walk we are resting in here. peace of mind + sadness + this feeling of ...

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you are tired and you are falling. he is writing 9 columns and a hundred rows of numbers next to you. red pen on graph paper - that image is taking me some years back and a few months forward. why are you tired? its only 3 pm and we are running between things right now. what code is he trying to crack and why are you wearing those purple house shoes? i'm asking way too many questions because you are passed out. your hair looks nice though

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i often wonder if i've given anything back to you. i have taken so much from
you, learnt so much from you and in the process of getting to know you i
have transformed. at times i think that maybe i'm too dependent on you for
inspiration, for feelings, for knowledge - necessary stuff. and it scares me
so much to realize that this is a temporary situation. i keep thinking of
this time as some kind of transitional phase with a meeting point somewhere
in the end, and i'm not sure if that's something i actually believe or what
i want to believe.


- doggie