The Incredible Mangoes

15th jan '09

i want to write about last night but i don't think i know of words that are intense enough to describe what was happening to me. there was so much going on inside me and around me that i wasn't even able to fully experience anything. it was a state of absolute chaos. i don't remember moving from the desk to the bed and then falling asleep. i wrote an email to us which has been cracking me up.

i'm still high. my heart is still about to explode. my feet are still asleep.

Firework finally murdered me. both of us have been climbing up the same ladder all along. towards her destination. a month of crazy bullshit has finally paid off. today, she fucked her ex. it's done. all of it is done. she has shown me how much i am capable of bearing. what my breaking point is. and how much it takes for me to get there. i've never been here before. i've never gotten through. i have been in the dark tunnel  many times, but this the first time that i got out of the other end. oh my god this is fucking exhilarating.

when you've felt the shittiest you can ever feel, don't you feel empowered? fearless? then what are you afraid of? when sadness becomes your secret high, what do you run from? nothing!!!