The Incredible Mangoes

thursday || february 18th, 2010

i realized yesterday that while i have been asleep, things have been happening. i've been out of the loop and not following the situation the way i used to. the last time i felt strongly about something 'gay-related' was probably months ago. i think i may have started viewing myself differently. it's all so vague, hard to put into words.

i can get away with not labeling my orientation because there is no proof of anything right now. i could be straight. gay. bi. who knows? and who will until i do something. who really even cares? i almost cringe as i write 'straight gay bi'. just because of the number of times i have read them, the contexts in which they have been used and the people they have been used by. i don't want to be associated with any of them. i feel homophobic and heterophobic (not a word) at the same time.

i'm not hating. i'm only talking about how words are making me feel.

labels are made for classification. so shit is organized and there is a system. everyone. is. so. obsessed. with. systems.
we really fear disorder, huh?

no, i understand why labels exist. we have names, don't we? although i'm not entirely sure if i like the concept of names either. i think maybe my utopia is way too simple. so fucking simple that it's too complicated to even understand how everything can function in such simplicity.

anyway, that went somewhere else. but i was saying that i think there is some solid lgbt movement starting in pakistan. i've come across some facebook group (that could have had a less cheesy default image) a bunch of times in the past few days. it's a big group with a lot of members. they seem active. i think it's a big deal because it's up for everyone to view and obviously since it's facebook, nobody is anonymous. they're doing it differently from the yahoo pakistani dykes haha.

but yeah, it may finally be happening over there. i think more people are coming out and i wouldn't say it's becoming common or acceptable, but the existence of homosexuals in pakistan is definitely (finally) being acknowledged. big step!! there's this lgbtiq group on fb, and from what i read i think members are meeting up, chay magazine is getting more popular. all this was unthinkable maybe 5-6 years ago. hmm.

- doggie