The Incredible Mangoes

tuesday || january 5th, 2010

i saw her in november. she was part of some south asian dance thing and i thought she was hot and looked like carmen. and somehow we ended up meeting a couple of times after that. oh, but she's 'straight'!! and that is so annoying.

anyway, she says many things that i find fascinating, but yesterday, she said this one thing in particular. she said:

"when i was younger, i used to write SO slow because i would admire my handwriting and then change it and admire it again, or spend a lot of time working on how i wrote each letter, deciding how i wanted to write it. consumed a large part of my life."

she likes hand lettering and fonts.. i didn't even know what to say to that. seems like i've been saying the wrong things though because she doesn't stop calling me 'yaar', 'buddy' and occasionally (and very unfortunately), 'bhain jee.' fuck!!! she made a comic sans joke yesterday!! i didn't think anyone found that shit funny.

but anyway, i can't tell if her excessive use of those friendly terms is her dropping hints. i think i'm just going to ignore them. i don't know if i'm in some kind of perpetual platonic state of mind. noo i'm not because i don't have platonic feelings for her BUT i'm still having the hardest time trying to tell her. i want to tell her, i should tell her.

everyone has a different strategy. one of my friends said, 'ignore her'. what the fuck? i don't want to ignore her! why should i ignore her?

so that's what's happening over here. it's been a stupid winter. i don't want to go back, i don't want to stay here either. both sides of the world are dull and depressing.

- doggie