The Incredible Mangoes

sept 16th 2010. 3 am

i am drenched from head to toe coming home (catching thunderstorms) on your damn birthday.

it has been 11 years since we understood love for the first time in-our-lives.
i cant believe you are still screening my calls.

you are and have always been the masterful goddess of elements. your presence moved them then, and they still move now. how i am soaked, and how magnificent today's thunderstorm was. i fasted unknowingly and now dedicate it to these years on years that have gone by so fluidly.

funny how today was full of all the other women in my life in my mind under my skin i think it had to do with the fast. irritated horny calm quiet angry beautiful flirtatious neutral so many colors fading in and out of my being.

there is so much to write about so this post will and is already a mess.

i just cant believe you still wont hear from me, even on your birthday. in this game of invisible devotion i dont know which one of us is ahead of the other. i will never stop trying to say hello. and you can not handle what might happen when you hear my voice.

happy birthday Jane.

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Mistress Type A:

oh my god when sexy-as-fuck women play games it is so much fun. Madame X is sharp and witty and sassy and lots of things real or imaginary circumstantial whatever i dont care. she is like Purple Haze once said... you chutiya you love things that you cant have. how hard ive tried to shake this bad bad inclination but flirting with good flirts is harmless and just way too much fun.
baby i could never keep you happy. i would never be your partner. yes no maybe or if somehow we should just fuck and get it over with. kia scene. Madame X is toying with my delicate inclinations and i am barely under control.

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Lolita :

dont fucking go there. dont attempt to seduce me, i am still trying to handle my heart. it is not acceptable. dont give me those looks and take off your shirt and turn your back to me and then unhook your bra and disappear into sheets that we are supposed to share. dont ask me in the morning why i slept on the couch. bhenchod yaar na kero. dont wear my jacket and find things in the pockets dont fall in love because you are sexy beautiful sweeeeet heart no dont fall for the handsome smile it is either a trick or a treat and you must have neither.

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Rani is making me fall into a strange detached sort of... deep odd wonderful magical love. above and beyond all kinds of nonsense. but full on kind of nonsense at the same time. her mystical presence is stronger (if not equal to) that which reminds me of Jane.

more later when a bit sober.

- b