The Incredible Mangoes

feb 25th 09

oh god. this lifestyle is getting slightly out of hand.

still drinking and smoking, flying solo now since doggie broke her cycle two days ago. i am on day 16, and i think its time to stop.

i woke up randomly this past saturday at 8 am, and was like man wtf i really should go see Sherbet Gula if i miss her. so i went. had lunch with her and some friends at a cramped packed diner, my god she is fucking stunning seriously. i want to talk about how she was just wearing boots and like, a long shirt thing and stockings. i want to talk about my sliding wandering hands and fingertips under the table, and the really quiet gasp that escaped her lips which totally fucking killed me. my god. she is so sexy. but i really shouldnt do this right now, sitting at work with a giant computer screen and people everywhere. i should atleast open another window. ok. i also wanted to see Persian Cat, but somehow we missed each other and i had to get back.

so yeah i came back same day, only to go home and realize i didnt have my keys. after staring at the door for a while, and then trying to break in through the window, my roommate hamster came to the rescue. we had some tequila shots and were happily chilling smoking a doobie, when fucking doggie calls from a party she is at with Cherry and Grape Cigar. doggie is fully drunk out of her mind telling me that i need to get there right the fuck now to save her because she is wandering aimlessly in the neighbourhood and is going crazy. Grape Cigar was apparently making out with some other chick for half an hour and it totally screwed drunk doggie over. so i bloody well get into a cab at 2 am and go to the party to save her ass.

at the party i met Runway.
hi there. i walk in and there is this chick on a couch totally going for it with some ugly dude with blonde curly hair. as they are rolling around on the couch i checked her out to find that she was smoking bloody hot. shit, what a shame i thought. as the party continued i realized that this girl was totally drunk man, and was surrounded SURROUNDED by dudes, like 6 at a time trying to dance with her, talk to her, make out with her. fuck man so i got really pissed and just pulled her away from the assholes. i told her listen you are gorgeous, but you are drunk, and these guys are all dicks. so just chill with me okay? hahaha yesss so we were drinking and chilling then. at some point when she seemed cool i went for it. was pretty nice. pretty fucking nice. soon as that started happening Cherry threw mini tantrum and left. Game, the party thrower who is this flashy latino american chick was super fucking pissed at me, because she is like in love with Runway or something. dude save yo drama, its not my fault you are totally useless at game, hence the name. sarcasm is totally my thing.

anyway yo so i took her out. i dont think ive been on a date in years. movie and drinks. we watched slumdog uff if i have to watch that movie one more time im going to kill somebody. Runway is 5`8, german american chinese, she was a model in new york and then hong kong for a while but wasnt tall enough to do runway. she is a computer science and economics major in life. we went out yesterday too, and i somehow managed to get completely plastered on just 3 beers and a gin tonic. and a tequila shot. fuck man i like fell down, on the sidewalk. on my face. that shit never happens to me. it was sooo not cool. she was inviting me to the basement of her dorm and shit, and i totally got too drunk and fucked it up. thank god doggie came and saved my ass this time. woke up today with a fucked up knee, a big hangover and sooo much pain. she wants to see me again tonight though, so i think its not that bad. she is 19 though. and im 25. its a little bit weird.

in other news, i went to get a hair cut cause its growing out. so i go there and im sitting and the hairdresser is super excited and bubbly and smiling. as im wondering wtf crack she is on, she asks me what i want her to do to my hair. i tell her the usual things, short choppy messy dykey. fuck man and then she was like you are ___ right? (insert my real name in blank). then she stated my occupation, and where i go to school. it turns out she is desi totally from the homeland. and im the blind stupid fucker sitting there telling her to make my hair dykey oh god. then said she was a big fan of my work, and that her older sister knows me. so this is wonderful. i came out to my desi hairdresser who is a fan of my work. not good, not good at all. it was fun though, she seemed very chill and i was able to tell her not to give me an 'aunty bob' cut and she totally understood me hahaha. she didnt mention or talk about gayness, so maybe she didnt hear me. she did drunk dial me yesterday and that was a bit strange.

Purple Haze is now officially seeing some dude. eww. im over it.

Doggie and i physically beat each other up recently. it was some stupid video project Grape Cigar had to do for class about domestic abuse. she made us fight with each other and video taped it. i thought it would be fine but man doggie just charged at me, picked me up off the ground and slammed me into the wall. after that it was on, so we like wrestled around the room like morons. she totally kicked my ass. that bitch is strong. this is another reason why my body is totally in pain. every muscle is cramped and falling yesterday has not helped.

i want a massage.


- birdie